This month brought some bummer news – a job loss, an unsuccessful fertility treatment – true bummers, not the kind that are momentary. But this month also brought things to celebrate – nine years of marriage to my best friend being paramount. The near-advent of having a kitchen again being runner up.
And this month, while we have cried, we have also laughed in celebration. Like, real celebrating. The day we found out that a month’s worth of self-injections and monitored ultrasounds would not lead to a Jr. Miller, we cuddled and cried for the afternoon, then went out to a fancy dinner to celebrate what we do have.
I’m sitting in a beautiful place. Overlooking my favorite thing: the ocean. Sitting with my favorite person: my husband of nine years. Having driven California’s beautiful coast in an adorbs little Mini Convertible. And I just finished writing postcards – yes, the old-school version – to the people we a) are thankful for and b) know their mailing address. List a is much longer than list b, but you get the point.
These are the things I’ve been given today.
I think this is what it looks like to live out the scary-good prayer. Yes, to allow pain in the things that have been taken away, but also to breathe deep of what has been given. I’m not talking about donning rose-colored glasses or seeing the glass as only half-full. That kind of stuff makes me gag. I am talking about life with a God who answers prayers with both yes and no.
Next week, I may be banging my head against another wall of loss. But today – today I’m soaking in all the things God has said yes to, including a life full of richer, poorer, sickness and health.